Infertility, Uncategorized

Infertility Update

infertility

I’m going, to be honest, these posts give me so much anxiety. Just going through all the emotions again is difficult, and I’ve tried to keep everyone up to date on my Instagram because it’s a little more short and sweet. On here I try to be as specific with you as much as I can so that makes this process a little more difficult.

I will say that this one will be a little shorter because it’s still a little fresh. Since my last infertility post Chris and I have gone through two cycles of IUI with Clomid and progesterone treatments. The last one was just a few weeks ago. We actually thought we were pregnant because an at-home test showed a very very very faint positive, but the next day I got my period. After the last failed IUI we decided to take a break from them. The emotional toll was more than I was expecting. I feel like I read everything out there about what to expect physically and emotionally but there was no preparing for the roller coaster of emotions.

All of the shots, hormones, bloodwork, procedures, and everything else I have put my body through over the last year has just added up to being too much for me and my mental and physical health. Chris and I both believe that it’s time to give my body a chance to breathe. We both agree that I have a very hard time learning how to relax. I have always been a person that has a hard time dealing with stress and relaxing. I’m naturally a worrier, planner, and an overachiever with stressing ha! My main focus right now is to heal from the heartache, let go of feeling like I can control my life, and turn everything over to God. I know that my stressing only makes my chances of getting pregnant less and less. With all the doctor appointments, medications, and everything in between just cause more stress and make it harder for me to just breathe.

I’ve been fasting, reading and meditating on the Word more, and reading books from Christian authors on how to let my stress go. I love a good Christian self-help book, and I’ve been reading some great ones lately that I will be sharing on here soon!

So that’s where we are right now. We are stopping treatments, no more buying at-home pregnancy tests in bulk, no more googling symptoms, bye-bye to charting every single thing, see ya later books that guarantee pregnancy if I do every single stressful thing they tell me to do. While some of these things may be good for others they have just added more stress to my life at the point in time. I’m having to learn to let control go and wait on God’s timing. This has been the hardest lesson of my life, and I’m just hoping that I learn what He needs me to.

13 thoughts on “Infertility Update”

    1. Thank you so much! I’m praying I find it as well. It’s been a difficult journey, but I’m trying my best to give it all over to God. Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to comment! ❤️

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  1. It can definitely wear you down all of the planning, and dwelling. I used to feel like I was losing pieces of myself trying to figure out how to make it all work. My husband and I have reached a point where we’ve put it in God’s hands. If it’s meant to be it will be, and if not, we’ll trust that God has a different plan for our lives, and it can still be beautiful even if it isn’t the plan we would have chosen for ourselves. Good thoughts & prayers.

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    1. I’m so sorry you are going through such a hard time as well! Thank you so much for your kind and uplifting words. I agree we just have to trust in Him and his plans. You have my prayers as well!

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  2. We just had our first round of IUI ad the journey to this point has been filled with disappointment. We are hoping this gets us pregnant but we know it could take a few cycles and it’s discouraging, especially when you family member who didn’t even want to get pregnant but is ready to give birth in a few weeks (that is what we are dealing with). Keep positive, I know it’s hard it’s something I have to say to myself all the time.

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    1. I’m so sorry I’m just now seeing your post! Our IUIs were sadly unsuccessful, and our DR wanted us to start IVF, but I just feel like my body and soul needs a break. I don’t think I was truly emotionally ready for the toll the IUI process did to me OR the crazy way my body would react to it. I hope you are doing well friend!!!! If you’re comfortable with it I would love to hear how your journey is going ❤️ thank you so much for taking the time to comment and helping me realize I’m not alone ❤️

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      1. Thank you for saying all that. The IUI process the first time around was full of anxiety and emotions and the fact that it didn’t take was more disappointing than any other time we were disappointed from not being pregnant. I think people who do not go through this thinks it gets easier as it goes on but in reality it gets hard because the treatments and medications increase and it an endless cycle of being optimistic and then being disappointed.

        I completely understand about wanting a break. I was tempted to take this cycle off just to mentally prepare myself for the next one but the thought of possibly being in pregnant in enough time for my husband birthday helped me decide to go ahead with the second round now.

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  3. I’m sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. I’ve just been cleared from my medication to try to have a baby and before I even started the medication we had tried for about a year. I am struggling to be supportive/happy for a family member that’s pregnant because I feel slighted. I’m more angry than anything. Reading your post actually eases my anxiety a little because I know there are others out there going through this.

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    1. I am so sorry that you are going through the hardships of seeing others have something you desire so much. It truly is one of the hardest parts for me. I totally understand what you mean about having a sense of relief knowing you aren’t alone, and I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to know I’ve helped in a small way. These types of posts are difficult to write and share but this right here is the reason I feel lead to share ❤️ I’m praying for you and that this season is filled with hopefulness and excitement! Please keep me updated on everything! ❤️

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